MMOing by Myself

Guest Editorial by The Omega Geek.

So stop me if you’ve heard this one before; it’s 1:42am and you’re considering maybe going to bed, plus you’re only halfway through the dungeon and almost at your encumbrance limit. So, you Recall back to town to sell off the stuff you’ve collected (far inferior to your own weapons, armor, and items, natch), and you realize that the mythril chainmail (+2!!) is only 97 gold away! There’s nothing else you can sell and you’re only 853 experience away from the next level, so why not go back to the dungeon for just a little bit?


So you go back and you win gold and glory, returning to buy new bling. See, but now you have schwanky new stats and new equipment, I…er, I mean, you just gotta go out and get in a few fights, just to try ‘em out! And then no one gets any sleep ever.


Yeah yeah yeah, you say, WoW addiction is soooo 2009, wake me when you’ve got something relevant to say; but I wasn’t playing WoW. I was on my good ol’ PS2 (purchased for $13 after massive trade-ins in 2002) playing Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance, which I got for $9.99 in 2005. Wow, indeed.


I totally would play an MMO though. In fact, I played WoW for a hot second of a 60 days free trial back in 2008. My roommates were big into MMOs (no, seriously, they treated the Aeon beta test weekend as a date) and got me WoW, Burning Crusade, and pre-paid cards. It was a’ight but hell on my non-gaming-optimized laptop. Then they got me a free trial key for Guild Wars, a game central to their relationship. We played for one night, during which the girl got angry at the guy for rushing off and taking the XP; they got into a screaming, door-slamming fight so I logged out and watched Mythbusters.


That’s the crux of the matter, I guess; I love the idea of MMOs but I kinda…don’t like people. Seriously! One of my favorite video game experiences was also for PS2, .hack//infection, based on an anime I’ve never seen. The premise was you’re a player playing in an MMO and things go a bit caddywampus, but the cool thing was game NPCs would react to you as though they were other players in an MMO and so were you! Sprites were asking me “a/s/l?” Mind = blown. This was great! All the MMO action and fun and none of the “lol faggot noob!” or actual awkward social interaction!


And I tried, don’t think I didn’t try…I tried WoW by myself, I tried D&D Online as a solo, I ran around Aeon in slow motion (thanks, graphics card) but the downside to playing an MMO when you hang with a bunch of MMO people, is that there’s always the feeling that there’s something you’re missing. I ran into this when my clique decided to get into one of the superhero MMOs, which meant the only for-reals social interaction I tolerated dried up in favor of pretend social interaction, which I was not invited to because, “You’re no good at MMOs.” This is a little bit of why I don’t like people.


Back to my main point, I was sitting there in the wee hours, pressing buttons, watching my dwarf fighter hit skeletons with a morning star and thinking, “I feel so totally and completely fulfilled right now!” Do-it-yourself-D&D! All the fun with none of the bullshit that comes with getting a gaming group together! No one bitching at you that your character’s motivations weren’t realistic enough or that you’re role-playing your angst wrong! No waiting for 3 weeks for a day that fits everyone’s schedules! Gone is the usual fight; pizza or Chinese! No dealing with the DM’s newbie SO who will restrict sex if they don’t get to be the star of the show! NO MORE USELESS ELVEN BARDS NAMED MOONLIGHT-WYCH!


Sorry, I had a moment there.


I guess my point is that I’d pay Blizzard everything I own and a potential first-born child (please don’t tell my wife) to be able to play WoW as a single-person game for a console. That Pandaria thing, with the kung-fu pandas, you know? I saw the trailer online and I’d play the shit out of that…by myself. Same thing with the Star Trek MMO, same thing with the Star Wars one, Lord of the Rings, etc.


So yeah, games industry. Stop trying to integrate Facebook into everything and realize that your gamers are social misanthropes who hate other people and want to play and experience wonderful worlds with fantastic graphics and addicting game play by themselves, in their sweatpants, un-showered, while they eat PopChips and drink tequila. Ok, it’s just me. Make games for just me, please.

Vira Gunn (112 Posts)

I'm the co-owner of Nerd Vice. I sometimes produce content ... nerdy content. I'm a 25 year old woman from New Jersey. I love fashion and girly stuff. I consider "Super Mario Bros. 3" to be the perfect game, though "Silent Hill 2" is my personal favorite. I'm also happily married to this guy called Leon Thomas.